No matter how far your marriage has gone off track (providing there is no abuse), you can restore your marriage. Below is my five- part plan to get your marriage back on track. Begin slowly and don’t gauge your success on your partner. Gauge it on how you feel being more generous and kind.
- Provide one small act of kindness per day. This can be expressed with words or maybe even keeping your mouth shut if you have nothing kind to say.
- Give at least one hug a day.
- Show respect once a day. It can be something as simple as asking your partner how they feel about something, or giving your partner space after a long, tiring day.
- Forgive your partner at least once a day. If they forgot to pick up something on your grocery list, it really is all right.
- After one or two weeks, begin being more generous with your acts of kindness.
I have never seen a couple in therapy who are kind to one another. Couples who are kind to each other don’t have marital issues. Kindness comes from an understanding that you are on the same team, and it isn’t about being fair or right—it’s about loving and wanting to share a life together. Divorce does not have to happen and it is very rarely the answer to finding peace.