Renew Your Relationship

Research shows that the way we feel about our life influences our body and health. People who struggle with depression or anxiety are more likely to suffer heart or autoimmune problems. It’s as if feelings, good or bad, directly impact our body systems. It goes without saying that relationships influence our emotions and one of the most important relationships is between you and your partner.

The person with whom you live and share your life, influences your health more than any other person. When you think of the fresh start that the new year brings and working towards having a healthier lifestyle, do not forget about the relationship with your significant other. What’s broken can be fixed and what is ignored becomes broken even more. I developed a three-part plan for renewing and restoring your relationship that I’d like to share.

You hold the power to create an awesome year just as easily as you can create a miserable one.

Rather than leaving your relationship stuck in a stale place, rejuvenate it by renewing your vows. Whether you plan a celebration around this or do it in an intimate setting with just the two of you, refresh your relationship with a renewed commitment to each other.

Sit alone and identify three areas of your marriage that you feel are lacking.

Your spouse should make his or her own list. Merge your lists—there should be six items, although some couples might have listed some of the same items. Together, select three that you will put effort into resolving—be sure to pull from both lists. Keep in mind that it’s important that both feel they have a say in what needs fixing in the relationship.

Make a specific plan for working on the three things that need fixing.

For example if a lack of intimacy is one of your issues, doing things such as hugging three times a day, holding hands or giving a weekly massage can be a step in the right direction. Make your goals realistic—you can revise them or set new ones throughout the year as you progress.

The biggest problem for couples in resolving conflict in their marriage is one of not knowing exactly what the issues his/her partner brings up. Sitting down and agreeing what the problems are, and making a plan together to resolve them is the first step in building intimacy, trust and a sense of renewal to a tired relationship.

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