Just as history books reflect both good and bad events that took place, your marriage has a history, too. Your marriage history, if captured on paper, would also reflect pages of good and bad events that happened throughout your relationship.
Where you are in your marriage or relationship might be completely different from where you were as little as one year ago. If written as a book, how would the book of your marriage read if it abruptly came to an end? Would the pages be full of celebrations and working as a team, or would it mimic “War of the Roses” with constant conflict and withdrawal?
There is nothing more precious you can give your children than a healthy committed relationship between you and your partner. Your marriage is the foundation of your child’s sense of security and understanding that love doesn’t mean you won’t argue or have days you dislike each other. How can you tell your child to work it out with their sibling if you can’t work it out with your spouse?
Every day of your marriage is a page in a book for your child and they are building their opinions and relationship ideas on the history that is being created. Hopefully, they learn the importance of commitment and family unity.
On your next date night, talk to your partner about the story of the two of you. Is there a good guy and a bad guy, a leader and a follower, or a balance? Are you both able to be vulnerable, or do you act stoic and aloof? Who is never wrong in the story and who forgives the easiest?
Many times we go through life taking each other for granted rather than reflecting on the marriage story we’re creating. Writer’s blocks are real, and time distorts the memory so grab a pencil and paper and begin jotting down bits and pieces of your marriage story. Ask your partner to join you, and talk together about the story you’re creating. It’s not too late to start writing the next chapter of your marriage.
Questions That Will Help You Get Into the First Chapter of Your Marriage Story
- Remember the time you ___ and it made me laugh until I cried?
- Remember the time you told me ___ and I thought about it every time I felt sad because it made me feel better?
- Remember the time I got so angry at you that I ___ and I regretted it because I knew it hurt you?
- Remember the time you felt so bad and I tried to cheer you up with ___?
- What makes every holiday with you special?
There are material things you may want to pass on to your children or grandchildren, but what they will benefit from the most is your story of love.